Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

कायावती को पत्र

प्रीय जगत बहन सुस्री कायावती,

आपकी माया और काया दोनों महान है | रक्षाबंधन का दिन आया और चला भी गया और आपके अनेक भैय्यों में किसी ने आपकी सुध भी न ली | यों तो इस पर्व पे बहने अपने भाइयों की सलामती की दुआएं मांगती हैं पर आपके सब भैय्ये इस दिन आपसे सलामती की दुआएं मांगते हैं | पूरा देश राखी के स्वयंवर में इतना मशगूल हुआ की आपके बारे में किसी ने न सोचा, आख़िर आपके लाल हाथों को पीला करना आपके भैय्यों का ही फ़र्ज़ बनता है| जगत कल्याण और शिलान्यास से आपको समय नही मिलता और इस बेदर्द दुनिया और जालिम समाज ने आपके 'मुलायम' दिल को कठोर बना दिया है जो आप अपने बारे में सोचना भूल गई| राखी के स्वयंवर के बाद भारतवर्ष को एक और सच का सामना करना चाहिए, कौन होगा वो बांका 'सुवर' जो हाथी पर सवार होकर आयेगा और बहन कायावती के चरण पकड़ के हाथ थाम लेगा? मैं माननीय टीवी चैनल वालों से आग्रह करता हूँ की एक और वास्तविकता शो बनाया जाए - "कौन बनेगा कायावती का पती"

आपका
क्वार्क

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Coup Mandook

Parvez the Prez has spoken after Amrikka's Negroponte came knock knock knocking on Mushy's door (errrr where is the Rice cooking?). His plan to take his style statement from Multan to Milano is quashed. (them angrez perverts want me to take off my uniform, such kinky rascals! ok ok just this one time, can we make it fast). So people are again chained to seats. Will Mushy babe solve the su do coup?

Mushy gave an apt gift on the eve of Children's day. (Come on kiddoze an educational trip to jail for you. Who wants the third degree?) And the good sportsman he is, the hide and seek between him and Imran Khan ended in a Gotcha moment a lot of home videos made by the cricket stal-wart (surprisingly there was no ads of Chintoo Candy prevalent in pirated movie CDs from Karachi).

We have to see whether the mandook(frog) can come out of his koop(well) that he has created for himself. He is giving typical signs of a despot-in-decline by identifying himself with the country and vice versa. Purrvez's relation with Uncle Shyam (Got this phrase from Hari) are getting more obvious, not that we didn't know. Musharraf is giving a nifty potboiler with a lot of emotions and action packed drame with babe (Bhutto), stud (Imran) and buffoon (Shareef). Ek anar, chaar bimaar.

Probably he can come to India to make a movie with Mahesh Butt with some random chick and a pseudo random hunk (read Emran Hashmi not to be confused with Hasmi dawakhana) on an inspired plot 'ek fool teen mali'. A love quadrangle starring Bhutto, Shareef, Imran and Musharraf, but at the end it would be Suuny Paa-ji who would solve the problem by a hand pump.

Kya hota hai jaanane ke liye aaj hi jaye apne paas ke CDwallah ke paas

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Su do - Coup

Now that mush has gone mushy mushy with his little toy land we have to know what does Bushy think! Instead it was Condolezza Rice who gave a neutral and aloof answer to the whole drama. (Some one joked that Rice would turn to a big Dosa in her grave due to fermentation)

Some people had an cynical smirk (errr dude wasn't Mush doing that stuff already? What did he do now?). It made me realize 8 [/9] years ago I was sitting in a barber's shop going to grab the Filmfare (whatever glitzy film mag he kept, I love these barber visits because all of them keep one such mag and it pisses me off to wait without them they are kind of equivalent of free peanuts in American flights) that some obscure General in a bollywoodesque thriller has grabbed the toy land from Nawaz not-so-Shareef. I thought kool man, some serious ass kicking going on (I am still wondering no one takes this as a movie script idea). It also made me realize just like Hindi cinema potboilers this stuff is going on and on. Audience is bored of item numbers , revenge story and dhishum-dhishum fight scenes. Even the frequent trips to the loo are not helping yet the movie promises to have a great climax so they are clinging on to the tickets.

As the puntastic title of the blog suggests managing army, jihadis, Bush, judiciary, pet, political opponents and at last the public is like a su do ku problem. All the numbers have to be placed at the right place under constraints. If at the start you place a number at random out of free will or folly it becomes hard to backtrack later when you know you did a mistake (Mushy: Yikes what will Bushy think of me, and these unkempt pyjama-chhaps don't know anything about style statements, they dont have any dressing sense, I should be strutting my stuff in Lycra Style awards) Will Mushy babe solve the su do coup? Will he make it to Time Su Do Coup challenge or will he follow his elder dictators? For now "milte hain is break ke us paar"