He knew it

He knew it, the hunch , the gut feeling (ewww not the bowel movement). All the things he heard near vending machine. Logs, messages and all the jargon spouted over by the rookie sysadmins over a cup of hot coffee spouted by the machines as intelligent as them (talk of natural stupidity not artificial
intelligence).

Straining at the terminal pieces of code presented themselves to him in indented glory. The sudden glow and warmth ran across his body like a spotlight. He could visualize invisible vision of unseen orb in silence and the voyeur behind it. "It is for your own safety!" "Yes big brother as you say"

"Did I just pick my nose" "Sorry Big Brother" "Think hard.... concentrate .... close that Gmail window, firefox icon can be recognized from miles" "Oh come on, keep a window of source code open .... at least the one with tons of ugly text" "Yes kool, fingers near Alt-TAB ..... switch the windows as soon as the undead comes, swallow that you.....".

He tried hard to put a Murphy blind over himself. "Don't peer over the cubicle there are a bunch of semi androids there also ...". The stifling humidity as if it is void that you are sucking in as air, still even though it is void it scratches the walls of trachea the tongue just feels a dull sensation". "He could feel some one breathing down his neck, the stench, the hot humid masala laden air giving blows of disgust in him"

And

Burrrrrrrrrrp

Arrrrghhhhh
EWWWWWWWWWW

"Grosss, that was hell lot of sambhar for a breakfast MAN, get a life and go back
to your monitor"

Medi-sin

"Our studies have shown drinking tea reduces the chances of heart diseases by 11.3%"

"A recent research has shown results that drinking tea with a lesser amount of milk leads to 16.8% chances of damage to the liver"

"Research has shown that people with pets have more chances of living longer"

Such obscure and confusing research where there is no mention of samples, methodology, reports etc leave readers in a quandary. Imagine people like me who are so weak in probability [The probability of a probability coming out more than 1 was quite high in my case].

Things get messier when statistics move from food to lifestyle. The results are not conclusive, often misleading and do not declare that they have been recommended by a professional doctor/practitioner. Increasingly the print media is moving towards such aimless pseudo-scientific banter ranging from health to even dating and etc. Giving tips on housekeeping and recipes was great but to giving an opinion regardless of the person whom it is intended for, her/his situation etc. is according to me unethical

My research has shown that having more birthdays is good for you, the more you have the longer you live!

Lyrix

Now this was outrageously cheesy, campy and tending towards kitsch. People must have seen the latest promos of Farah Khan's film Om Shanti Om, her ode to bygone cinema era. I really can't believe Javed Akhtar has written these lines for the song - Dard-e-Disco.

Now what is that supposed to mean. SRK worked out so much for his abs and puny torso that he broke a bone or two while disco-ing? The initial lines are the stuff usual words and constructs Hindi cinema lyrics (not Bollywood it is a denegrating word) are made of. And there are some good Urdu words thrown in. The hackneyed lines make me remember the brilliantly humorous movie Chashme-Buddoor (starring suave Farukh Sheikh, girl next door - Deepti Naval and a host of other likable characters). It had a great take on the typical song and dance routine in Hindi cinema. The song went like: Chham chham Payal, kaise ho paagal and all the inane stuff that rhymes.

Coming back to Om Shanti Om. The song took me by surprise after listening to lyrics the recent dud movie - Cash where a despo Shilpa Shetty look alike (errr or is she her sis) cries out for her MindBlowing Mahia! (Aaj Tak watchers was there any hidden connection between her and Mahendra Mahia Singh Dhoni?). She did a hell of Job to Blow [Blowing Minds you dirty minds!]

I never expected this from Javed Akhtar. Probably it was some else who screwed and made the singers sing it, probably it was some underworld don who made them do it instead of extortion to get pure kicks out of the whole meaninglessness of it.

Or does he suffer from multiple lyricist disorder! He has a Sameer residing in him! Or just like Aks (Amitabh Bachchan, Manoj Bajpai, Nandita Das) Sameer enters his body and makes him write these lines to vamoose into thin air leaving even him agape.

AI vs AP

Well the much hailed fruits of Artificial Intelligence are not bearing for the market I think looking at Artificial Personality can be a good option. Prof. Alan Turing gave Turing Test as a benchmark of AI where a human judge has to converse with a human and a machine through a natural language. The machine passes the test if the judge is not able to conclusively say it is a machine with which (s)he was conversing. Quite a subjective parameter but gives a complete picture.

Further developments lead to much hailed poster boy of AI: Expert systems. After this came less 'glamorous' (readd stuff from which sci-fi is made of) more nerdy interpretations and implementations but the core remains the same. There is something such as 'intellectual' tasks that a human can do and we should strive towards making machines do it. So there is a notion of a problem or a question and its resolution.

Where as if we go back to Mr. Turing and see his test in a different light essentially he is talking of creating an Artificial Personality. Surely the judge can test the person on the other side by giving 'intellectual' task/problem/question but overall if you want to see it is a case of personality that we are looking at and not 'intelligence' per se.

BTW this article triggered the dormant thought in me

Wax and Vain

LOL is the word

Aishwarya Rai, the much touted queen bee of Hindi Cinema, the crossover dream of India and latest addendum to Bachchan parivar had her wax doll displayed at Tussads, New York



Is the wax model an exact replica of the lady? I think it is the other way round! The lady with frigid expressions is an abberated replica of the doll! Aberrated because she can flutter her eyelid. Somehow the virtual overwhelms the real. Case of simulacrum turned on itself! A reflexive hyperreality?

I still believe it might have been a hoax, she might have stood there herself and people would have believed it ;)

Freshhhhh

Let's look at some of the mint ads which force you to think out of the box or make you wonder where's the box itself! Mentos: Supposedly eating Mentos brightens your otherwise dark corners of brain and you become uber genius by embarassing others for your squeaky footwear in a classical music concert (in SSS no it is not Senior SchutzStaffel, Herr Hitler is in peace with himself, it is Surbahar Sangeet Sammelan) Or it can be about fooling your prof (who is anyways teaching law of addition i.e. it is associative) , thereby taking you to newer forms of intelligence. Elevating you from your aam zindagi to a new kewl mentos zindagi. Chlormint: The first ad with the paanwallah showed Indians are deeply involved in philosophy that the ultimate revelation and the truths can be known on a nukkad. The existential dillema's of western trained mind of rationales, reasones and cause and effect analysis are eliminated by quasi-Zen like unquestioning the question. The whole question of 'Hum Chlormint kyun khaate hain' is answered by a paanwallah. On the other front the still-in-70s Pappi gets to know dimensions of other kinds while musing over kissing habits of SouthAmerican fresh fishes (yes Saiyyan more Guppy, dete nahi pappi). The latest one is about the eternal and timelessness of the world and specifically of chlormint. It is so subtly put by a paying homage to the India's best sport (no procreation doode but kabaddi) Orbit White: Orbit has consistently used gaay mata (holy cow!) as its symbol the great animal specialist with English deeply rooted (and routed) in India. Dr. Dhurandar Bhatawadekar shows the sheer power of Orbit. Doc in a subtle and sublime manner teaches us that after all man is a social animal. A brilliant mix of entertainment, education and advertisement - enterducads!! Coincidently Utpal Dutt played the role of ace detective Dhurandar Bhatawadekar in Hindi Move Rang Birangi (1983). The ad captures way globalization will make a new Indi-English where Orbit is needed by all bachelor-men and bachelor-women. The ad always ends up with Mr. Butt-of-a-wader giving a Eureka moment. Its working! Minto-Fresh: Now this is the ultimate social leveller. The ad creates a unique blend from Laila-Majnu tragedy (albeit this is not), rural amorous aspirations and the forward looking lad from mera gaon mera desh. The message is not hidden behind incoherent syllogism but a simple message: 'Laila ko jab karna thha impress majnu ne khayi minto fresh, bole to ekdum fresh'. The end shows reversal of the fairytale of Frog Prince with the villain turning back to his frog-dom. But there are literalist people who can't read between the frames Polo: For the diehard mint fans for whom life is what happens between fag, Polo is the still the Dalda of Ghee! Offlate it has bear the brunt of punk ads but the image of old man dancing away to young tunes (unfortunately I am unable get the video/image of the really old ad) still lingers in my otherwise cluttered mind. The tagline still holds strong: 'Mint with a whole' which has sustained many reactionary ads and tomfoolery. The latest one shows a granny finding 'kiss ka hint' from Polo power mint.

A Ketchup of Kitsch

Hindi Cinema or should I say Bollywood has further crystallized the already stark abyss between the so called class, mass and kitsch!

I used to relish Zee Cinema and (late entrant) Star Gold for movies like Zakhmi Aurat, Red Rose and a host of other movies which could not get the recognition from masses (and the sneering critics sitting smugly atop the ivory tower).

The lost gems and voice of hundreds of hungry (and whistling) junta a race loosing out to multiplexed, perplexed crowd (seriously its been a while since I have gone in a multiplex).

The last hope for kitsch is also dying, have a look at Star Gold's movie schedule for today (13th Aug)

02:25 V Trailers - Star Gold
02:30 Jawani Diwani
04:35 Main Meri Patni Aur Woh
08:10 V Trailers - Star Gold
08:15 TELE VIEW MALL
08:30 Jhankar Beats
09:00 23rd March 1931 Shaheed
13:30 Khakee
17:00 Sarfarosh
20:30 Swades.... We The People

String of characters - 2

Now this post is awesome: Passion for Cinema
[Note it is in Hindi]

Actually I found Tej Sapru an interesting character actor and my mom had told me that he is a veteran actor named Sapru's son. So after writing String of characters I was trying to do some manual web mining (how bout making Amitabh the new generation web miner in High tech Kala Pathhar?!?, no no please no brickbats for this crass semi-tech PJ even I couldnt digest it so barfed it out) and got hold of the link - awesome piece of work, just need to touch up the language a little bit.

quarklore's take on work

काम का काम है हो जाना
और हमारा काम है चादर तान के सो जाना

Jagjit Singh and Ghulam Ali

Well the concert did take place, but the overall experience was a tad disappointing the last solo from Jagjit Singh at Ambedkar Bhavan, Bangalore. There was something missing with the whole arrangement. A ghazal concert where sound and proper acoustic setup is utmost importance the organizers missed the whole point.

To start off there was a lot of problem Jagjit Singh had to face because of audio and repeated howling because of feedback. He had to point that time and again. He also seemed to be in a hurry to finish it off. Personally I prefer still the old school ways of harmonium, tabla to accompany a crooning voice rather than violin, keyboard and flute. Somewhere the sounds didn't blend to create magic.

Ustad Ghulam Ali was a pleasant surprise, all the while he seemed so enthusiastic and cheerful even amongst his instrumentalists. Jokes and अठखेलियां where a plenty as was some serious facts about ghazal, nazm, raag in a light manner to inform audience. His attitude was great that people should not only hear the stuff but also understand it well and get to know a little bit of nuances also

One thing that I liked about Ustad Ghulam Ali was he could not stand improper behaviour from the audience be it howling, whistling or clapping in between shers and he handled the audience in firm yet polite manner with a touch of class. All the while it seemed he has taken us to a ride in the world of ghazals where we are sailing in a vast ocean of emotions with him enjoying the twists and turns with the audience. An extremely humble and yet humorous person.

The overall setup was not that good an experience but it was great listening to the great Ustad whom I had till now met only through digitally embossed circular disks

Amul Macho

Somehow I like the word Macho. Not because of the obvious allusions towards a popular North Indian expletives but the way it is pronounced, the way your lips move to produce that sound. Anyways this is not about psycho-sexo-lingual aspects of English words but the Amul Macho - Toying ad. I have a special affinity towards the ad not because of the sexual connotations but use of the word 'toying' and how I got to know the difference between toy and toying,

The ban has added a feeble thread to debate of censor vs. sensual (errr) censor vs. freedom of speech. Well it is really hard to decide who should decide what people ought to see? Cultural chauvinists and conservatives will bay the blood of maadarn (modern), fair lasses (or was it laissez-faire?) and west-apers

And the moderners would heap invectives over desis, bhaiyyas and behenji's about freedom of speech

What about us, innocent people who just want to build over our Engliss vocabulary?

Media

Well yes blame it on media and hype.

me·di·a

1.	a pl. of medium.

2.	(usually used with a plural verb) the means of communication, as radio and television, newspapers, and magazines, that reach or influence people widely: The media are covering the speech tonight.

–adjective

3.	pertaining to or concerned with such means: a job in media research.

(taken from dictionary.com)

Well nowadays media has gone super-meta. Media bashing is done in media itself. Talkshows, debates etc all heap invectives on media and how we are going the western paparazzi ways.

Well coming to the point it is related to our dear and old Sanzu baba - the apple of sore Indian movie watcher's eyes. Few days back surfing through TV I watched Times Now for few seconds. They where juxtaposing Mr. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi with Mr. Sanjay Dutt (vald Sunil Dutt) on topics of Gandhigiri and getting jailed in the same Yerawada Jail, Pune. Everything under the broken sun was discussed his new tax free payroll of INR 7 per day to his career plan of promotion to INR 9 (errr or was it higher?!). It was only a minute after that that a second news item started bashing media over going gag over Mr. Dutt and ignoring fate of an innocent child being held in prison because his dad is incarcerated and the maternal grandparents are willing to accept it!

gold and glitter

All That is Gold Does Not Glitter but who would want to wear it?

Is there an anthropological study of codo-sapiens? Or at least psycho-social study of the large swath of techno coolies?

Quines

Quines are really intriguing things. In computer programming it means a program that print itself, reading its source file and printing is a trivial thing. Do try the exercise it is a fun thing to do.

Quines are named after "Willard Van Orman Quine" an American Mathematician and Philosopher. He gave Quine's Paradox. The paradox means that a statement can be paradoxical without having reference (e.g. This sentence is false ) or Demonstratives e.g.

The statement to below is true
The statement to above is false

The basic funda is to take a phrase, put it in quotation and append it after quotation and the resultant sentence should be grammatically correct. i.e. make a sentence like "X"X
e.g. take a phrase 'has three words' so our sentence would be:

"has three words" has three words

“yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation” yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation
(This one was from Mr. Quine)

Not all of them will be paradoxical but they are interesting enough to mull over

is some fixed point theorem which states that in any sufficiently powerful language (programming or natural language) it is possible to construct Quines.

Here are some more for fun:

"is a sentence with no subject" is a sentence with no subject

"is a Quine statement" is a Quine statement

"is a sentence fragment" is a sentence fragment

Klisht Hindi

Heard of words like shishu, twacha, poshan I am sure images of an advertisement should prop up in your mind. Such pure Hindi is to be heard in advertisement let alone Hindi news channels

String of characters

On popular demand esp. Desh and Bulbul I have to write more on these fellows. Let me first make my stance clear. I neither revere nor despise the unforgettable, forgettable characters who have bedecked the silver screen for ages. They popped up in my mind because of the habit of looking at unforseen and forgotten spaces, a habit best cultivated by observing junior dance artists in P.T. dance sequences (1-2-3 types dances where half of the time hero is clearly watching the choreographer)

There are few common traits that these people share, they occupy a of your psyche where only a quaint image lingers with left over remembrances of queer accent or strange character portrayal. It is in general very hard to associate their names with their images.

Satyen Kappu: He has done various roles most remembered one is Sholay's Raam Laal, the best context specific help ever made. All that the Thakur had to call out was RaamLaal in his deep baritone and master's task would be done. Most of the times he used to be finished before the movie ends or would be weeping/whining on various things.

Jagdish: I think he and not Iftikhar has the most number of appearances as police officer without a single promotion in his life time :)

Sudhir: Now sudhir is a character which very few people can recollect. He is the fellow with long downward turning mustache and queer thick foreign accent Hindi. To aid your recollection he was one of the brothers in Satte pe Satta.

Tej Sapru: Now this one is a bouncer. Tej Sapru was epitome of road side gangster, college baddy, goon's son etc. He dominated the scene in 80s and 90s like no one else. Remember the show manager in Tezaab. Or the baddy in Saajan who tries to rape Madhuri Dixit and a crippleed Sanjay Dutt tries to save him. I guess the best AHA moment belongs to him because of the contrast between persistent presence and relative obscurity. Trying to google tej sapru results in some lawyer named 'Tej Bahadur Sapru' of British era.

Macmohan: It is easy to remember him with his all encompassing beard thin and frail frame. His most memorable role was that of Sambha in Sholay where he had only few lines. Interestingly he is uncle of starlet Ravina Tandon.

I would not include A.K. Hangal here as he is quite well known by his name and his lines in Sholay 'Itna sannata kyon hai bhai' but many people do believe he was born old :)

Do check out later i will continue this :)

PS: another good habit is to go on staple diet of movies on Zee Cinema and Star Gold

string of characters

Remember Iftekar(man with record polic officer roles) ? MacMohan (Sambha) ? Satyen Kappu (Sholay ka omni present raam laal)? Bob Christo (Quintessential phoren baddy)

We should document such people whom no one remembers by name but faces. A typical reaction would be 'oh that guy' and a smirk :)

words

Some of other stuff from my side. Photos belong to Saurabh

http://flickr.com/photos/visio/509032043/

http://flickr.com/photos/visio/421224382/

http://flickr.com/photos/visio/509253022/in/photostream/

http://flickr.com/photos/visio/521356406/

मेघ

ज़ुल्फ़ों के काले मेघ, दिल मैं गम बरसाते हैं
दर्द के फूल खिलते हैं जब सामने वो आते हैं

zulfon ke kaale megh, dil main gam barsate hain
dard ke phool khilte hain jab saamne wo aate hain

प्रतीक अग्रवाल कायल