Ye kya ho raha hai

I was caught in a "Ye kya ho raha hai beta duryodhan" moment. Yes the Hindi mythological cinematic equivalent of WTF (you have to watche Jane bhi do yaro umpteenth time to understand that). Off and on I used to check sitemeter statistics of my blog and get amused by weird search keywords people use and how one or the other of my blog posts come up as search result for unrelated keywords. No stellar or spectacular feat but amusing yes. Some posts on Hindi cinema lyrics, Rakhi Savant (interestingly savant means a scholar).

What compelled me to write this post was a yahoo search from a Pakistani ISP and the keywords were peshab ki pic (Pictures of Urine). My post which comes as the 4th (and 5th also!) result is actually a rant about Orkut and only last two of the three keywords match with the post content and comments.

Even if I consider imperfections of search engine algorithms and factor in that some people get blog hits out of retro sleaze, what I can not fathom is what compelled the person to search for photographs of urine on internet!

* Does it (the searcher) wants to check if its color of pee is normal?
* Or it has never urinated in its life and wants to know how it looks
* Some strange fetish (I do not want to venture in this line of thought)

So here I end my post and I plea yahoo people to redirect such freaks somewhere else

Pro Crass tination

Heavy snow beating down the city, awake at 0200 hrs, inevitable barrage of examinations (that word makes me imagine being under a microscope) of the author and he still finds reasons to procrastinate studies time and again. Few things you realize during exams:

* The den needs cleaning
* Garbage needs to be thrown out
* You need a nice pen even before you flip the first page so off you go to buy a nice one
* Can not work without a coffee

And now the blog.

Living near and moving around a wide variety of international students I have came across many non-Indian people with a healthy curiosity in India (rare are the chronic cases of Indophilia). Exchange of cultural exchanges ensues after acquiring acquaintance over different dinner or visit to a friend's place. Some cliched and stereotypical topics always come up:

* Hindi Cinema (referred to the derogatory name: Bollywood)
- The heroine has to change 17 dresses in a song sequence
- Couple get teleported to and from Switzerland instantaneously
- Couple break into song n dance at the drop of the hat

Now to this I do not have any answer, this is an existential question. How the hell can a fish tell a well frog why is sea water salty hence I can not explain why Amitabh Bachchan used to kill the villain after eating all his bullets.

* Indian Food
- spicy
- the better ones might know : chicken tikka masala, naan, biryani
- weird non vegetarians : pork, beef, fish, eggs (theoretically 2 raised to the power of 4 = 16 combinations)

* Kamasutra
- No they do not teach Kamasutra at school there would be a riot if it were to happen
- No every Indian is not an expert in it
- AFAIK it is not a manual to achieve the big O (frankly told to a couple who gave a knowing smile to each other)

* Gods
- Yea there is a plethora of Gods in India
- They dance, play, romance, fight, take human form and what not
- I know it is complex, probably you can do a master thesis on the list, for now take Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh that will do

But what threw me off was one guy asked me about the mammilla (word changed for obvious reasons) song. Half baffled and half embarrassed I asked him to show it on youtube. I expected some sleazy rendition of a popular song or a bawdry parody but it turned out to be Sushmita Sen's Dilbar Dilbar song which got Buffalaxed to mammilla song. The poor soul all the while thought text presented in the video to be English translation of actual lyrics. I had a hard time conveying him the actual meaning amidst uncontrollable laughter. India and Indians are indeed queer, quirky but we are yet to reach that state of what should I call, I am out of words, perversion, insanity, masochism?

After having a hearty laugh I recollected the real great time I had with my friend Hari who introduced me to the funniest of all Indian Buffalaxed songs: Benny Lava quite a while ago.